Here’s the thing about Army training: it’s written at about an eighth grade education level so if you’re above that (as most people are) you’re bored shitless. I’m expecting to be full-on bored shitless for the entire three days of orientation but, on the bright side, I should get to see a friend I haven’t seen since 1991! And! This friend makes amazing margaritas. You call that a double bonus.

We have to go to this orientation in anticipation of the big move to Texas. I have no idea what to expect except it will suck. As anticipatory training, I was supposed to take these AFTB classes. Each is 9 hours of training according to the program. They’re online, self-paced and worthless. I completed all three 9-hour courses in about sixty minutes. Yes, my friends, you too can be AFTB Level III educated on your lunch break. In this training you get to learn dumb stuff like how to read a pay stub and how to write a check. I was also quite relieved to learn that if he’s deployed my “husband should make arrangements to pay all the bills by allotment” you know, so I don’t dirty my hands with money. Or is it because I don’t know how to write a check?

Regardless, I must go to this orientation and I must put my best Army Wife smile on and pretend to like it. I’ve been asking for an agenda without success and that, especially for Army stuff, is a very. bad. sign.

So how do I entertain myself next week?  Leave your suggestions in the comments and the best suggestion will win a very special prize hand selected by me during our trip next week!