I am also really working on unblocking my creativity. It’s lost. I’ve missed it and I am trying to get it back. This blog is going to become a playground for all kinds of different things and I hope you’ll like them. Stay tuned.

Sorry for the hiatus. We’ve had company – not including 1SG Crabass – and with soccer, etc., it’s been busy.

Sunrise

I’ve been meaning to snap a picture for awhile now and just haven’t done it.  This is our view of the sunrise here in El Paso.  The colors are always so beautiful.  I needed the sense of calm this morning so I’m happy the camera was close by.  We face west so our back door gives me the morning sun which I love.  One of these days I will have worked up to taking my coffee and my laptop out on the patio and really enjoying the day.

The first day of school was pretty uneventful from the children’s perspective.  The Khan was very excited and extremely exhausted when he got home.  His adjustment phase is going to be rough.    For the older two, it’s just back to business as usual except for a scheduling mishap that I won’t mention here beyond one quick HOW THE FUCK DO YOU CONFUSE CHOIR WITH ART?  I asked for ART not Choir.  And now I fear it will be a pain in the ass to un-do.  Also, the senator is taking up the violin.  My ears hurt already.

But they clean up good!

So my classes started last week and I couldn’t get registered until the day before because I needed instructor signatures – which is bullshit.  Set up a control in your registration system that says “this student is in this program and can register for this course”.  Make that money you spent on SAP or Oracle or whatever pay off.  Don’t stick to the old ways and make it complicated.  Registering the boys for school was also, pardon my english, a cluster fuck.  Long lines, long waits and ludicrous policies.  “Honey, when I’ve had three MD’s look at that record and say their shots are current, I’m not listening to an RN say they’re not.  Especially when the last MD to review the record did so  two days ago.”  And don’t make me wait an hour for your ass while you enjoy using your positional authority to irritate the hell out of me.  Why can’t you register your kids online?  Develop a portal straight into the computer system.  Wouldn’t it be easier than having me fill out forms and you read my handwriting to hand-key information in the computer system?  You’re welcome.  That will be a $500K consulting fee.  It’s still a bargain.

Bullets:

• If your computer system can’t keep up with the demand for basic functions like generating schedules, you need to update either the systems or the operators.  Getting schedules done six days later than promised is exceptionally poor service.  You look incompetent and probably are.
• When I ask for a school psychologist, don’t send me to special education.  I know the difference.  If you don’t, you’re in the wrong profession.
• If you don’t answer e-mails sent to a general address, get rid of it.  ALL e-mails should be responded to in 24 hours or less regardless of the address they’re sent to.  Many of the Queens and mine have been eaten in cyberspace this week.  This is not acceptable.
• In a nutshell, PROVIDE THE LEVEL OF CUSTOMER SERVICE YOU EXPECT TO RECEIVE.  And in education, your customers are students, parents, staff and the community.  Yes, you have to make everyone happy.

With school cranking up and the pressure to start research already, I’m going to try to blog three days a week:  Tuesday, Thursday and probably Sunday.  Wish me luck.

10 Things I love about Back to School:

1.  The children are out of the house.  All day.

2.  I don’t have to entertain them.  And keeping them off the crack video games is so much easier when they aren’t around them all day.

3.  I have a kindergartener this year!   They get so excited about everything and that is a blast!

4.  All new school supplies.  I even buy each of them a new backpack every year.  It’s like a fresh start!

5.  The excitement the kids have for about the first week.  The subsequent grumbling makes me laugh.

6.  Specifically new crayons.  I love them.  Crayons are a big old box of therapy and buying them for the kids means I get some too!

7.  New books.  I hate paying for them but I love the smell, the feel… and with me going back to school, I will get at least one!

8.  Anticipation.  New semester, new year, new teachers.  I’m mostly an optimist so I always hope for the best.

9.  New sports.  The guys are playing soccer this fall.  It should be fun.  And I will keep telling myself that until it proves otherwise.

10.  Fall is one of my favorite times of year.  I’d say it’s my very favorite but spring flowers and how much I hate winter give spring the edge by just a bit.  But I love fall and the beginning of the school year means fall is coming!  I hope that fall in Tejas and New Mexico doesn’t disappoint.

Now things I HATE about back to school:

1.  Back to School Shopping.  I love new supplies but I hate shopping for them.  What can I say?  The stress of it makes people rude and rude people piss me off.  As my fellow blogger Ian says, “the Universe hates bitches” and so do I.

2.  A feeling of impending doom.   I’m not a snob but after last year I don’t have a good feeling about the teachers.  Last year, the Senator’s teacher didn’t give homework because parents didn’t make sure it got done.  That’s not a reason to not give homework.  That’s a reason to retain kids in the fourth grade.  And, up in the north, we hear lots of bad things about school and standards in the south.   After middle school orientation, I’m feeling optimistic about standards but the Czar’s school is fifty years old and looks it.

3.  The wonder about whether the kids would be better off if I homeschooled them.  If I hate public schools so much, why bother?  Well, I haven’t found a non-religion infused curriculum for one.  For two, I have to work so how does that go with homeschooling?    I always hate myself for not doing anything more to keep them focused in the summer.  Maybe next summer will be the one I homeschool them for summer school to keep their brains free from summer vacation rot.

4.  Standardized tests and the fact that teachers teach to them.  The Middle School principal denies it but we will see.  I know both the Michigan district and the Wisconsin one definitely do.  It’s ridiculous.  Let’s all teach rote memorization rather than critical thinking, shall we?  Then we can wonder where our competitive advantage went.

5.  Parents.  Specifically PTA parents.  They drive me nuts.

6.  Fundraisers.  I’d rather just write a check than sell wrapping paper, people.  Let me do that.

7.  A special nod to helicopter parents.  Particularly those who have children on the same sports team as my son.  I want my kid to play too but you don’t see me being a bitch about it.

8.  Homework.  Specifically my own.  I have a statistics class this semester.  I haven’t had stats since 1999.  I hope they start slow.

9.  Morning battles.  Every year I try to get the kids adjusted to getting up and getting moving in the morning.  Every year I fail.

10.  What?  You really want 10?  Isn’t this nine enough? Okay, I hate that my classes start 8/21 and I haven’t been cleared to register yet.  It’s just paperwork, but I need my stupid student ID number to access the registration system.  AH!  The bureaucrazy of higher ed!

Best Friends:

Uh…

Then the Nerf Darts course became a maze, then a fort.  It was fun!  The boys started taking pictures of their handiwork and then The Khan got the camera.  This is what you get when that happens.  Notice there’s a picture of every living thing that was in the backyard’s butt including a very attractive picture of Champ.

Yes, we laugh at this kid continuously.

Me:  Yes, honey.  Everything grows when you grow bigger.

TK:  Mama, what are these called?

Me:  Well, honey, those are called your testicles.  You probably have heard your older brothers call them “balls”.

TK: (very seriously)  Oh.  I just call ‘em my nuts.

Sarge and I had tears in our eyes after this particular conversation and decided it must be preserved for posterity.  And, for me, that means “shared with the blogosphere”.

Continuing the bitchy part, I’d like to give a hearty “fuck you” to the dog owners gone before me that have ruined it for the rest of us.  You can’t take them anywhere – not even national parks these days – thanks to fuckheads irresponsible dog owners that don’t make their mutts behave or clean up after them.  That means no hiking in the badlands, no trip to Mt. Rushmore – well I guess one of the adults could have taken the boys but that kind of contradicts the whole “family” concept, doesn’t it?  It was too hot and I’m too responsible to just leave the dogs in the camper unattended.  So scratch 90% of the sightseeing.  We did take 20 minutes to see the Corn Palace.  What a hoot!  And the drive through the Badlands was beautiful even if it did cost us $30!

I actually have no complaints about the scenery anywhere along the way.  New Mexico is particularly breathtaking but even Wyoming isn’t bad.   Wide open spaces are prettier than I’d ever thought they’d be.  You’ll be hearing more about New Mexico over the next three years, I’ll expect.  With lots of pictures.  Not much of the drive though because I can’t take photos and drive at the same time and Sarge would have been really pissed if I’d kept stopping for camera breaks.

Here’s your bullet points:

Prettiest part? New Mexico.  All of it.

Ugliest part? Dumbass drivers in Colorado and the abysmal directionals to and within Kirtland AFB.  Give me some kind of clue which lane to be in – just in case it’s rush hour (yes, it was) to turn onto the base and then at least try to point me toward the campground.  And teach your god damn civilians the phonetic alphabet the rest of the military uses?  It is G-O-L-F, Golf is “G” – not Gibson.  If you tell me “Gibson” I look for Gibson (later found to be a different street a few blocks away but I’m smart enough that when you tell me to turn on Gibson and then turn on F and both are one-way streets then I can conclude that you mean G and are just an idiot).  If you tell me “Golf” I know that “G” Street is at least a definite possibility.  Or just use directional signs extensively – like the rest of the military.  USAFA is huge and I still found everything.  On Kirtland – by the time we found their crappy campground I didn’t want to stay there any more.

Dumbest part? Believing the staff at Kirtland’s FAMCAMP when they said they’d have a space for us  “Don’t worry!”  is apparently akin to “Of course I’ll respect you in the morning” in Air Force Civ. speak.  After six hours of driving (everything takes longer with dogs and children), horrible turn-by-turn directions on the phone with an outdoor rec employee and a general case of pissed off because you’ve been driving and cooped up in a camper with two dogs, three kids and a hubby in the same boat for five days, finally arriving at said campground to find no employee on duty and no space for you is a sure way to peg the pissed off meter.

Our solution?  Drive to Soccorro and stay in a Rodeway in that fulfills every stereotype you ever had about motels (yes, motels – exterior entrance rooms) in touristy towns in the Southwest.  Red carpets, ugly wall paper, a pool and a continental breakfast.  By this point, however, the pool was exactly what the fellas needed (whaling regulations prevent me from entering swimming pools – I know there are laws, but I know people break them and I’m taking no chances) and pizza delivery with a glass of cabernet was what I needed.  That and, uh, wireless internet   I’m not disparaging the motel.  It was fine.  I think it’s under new management and I think it will improve over time.

Best part? Arriving in El Paso and making the smart choice to check into a hotel with a pool for the remaining two days before our house was available.  We found a great Guest House International – a pet-friendly, new hotel with a suite concept, a pool and a continental breakfast- five minutes from the base.  We will be recommending them highly in the unlikely event we get visitors.  The 2-room suite featured a mini-bar (you know, microwave, fridge, sink) and a separate room with the king-sized bed for the boys.  It was heavenly!

Things that sound dirty but aren’t: Kum & Go.  Some entrepreneur in Western Minnesota needs to work on either his language comprehension or his branding, right?  These are convenience stores / gas stations and there are several of them along I-90.    I started thinking “outside the box” (BINGO!) about developing a partner chain of “adult toy store”/ hotel combinations called “Kame & Went”.  What do you think?

On the plus side, however, things in El Paso are going reasonably well.  We are here.  Our stuff is here.  We’ve even managed to locate and unpack most of it.  The house is nice.  The neighbors are nice (the ones we’ve met so far).  And Fort Bliss is clearly a professionally run military base.  The civilian employees we’ve encountered – even the contractors(!) – are professional and the services are quite acceptable. The PX and commissary are huge and the shopette for gas is two blocks away.  Nothing, so far, to complain about except how shitty the movers were.  I think that’s another post.

I do have some pictures to post, but that’s another day.  Get back to work!

Things in SATE land have been quite chaotic to say the least for the past several months.  Summer vacation, as parents everywhere know, never is and with the PCS Fairly gazing lovingly upon us it has been a little worse.  Throw in an adoption and adding a teenager to the house and the crazy meter pegs.

Here’s what we’ve been up to:

May 2:  The Czar moves in permanently.

June 6:  Last day of school for all parties involved (‘cept me – I was done May 28 with all my work for the semester)

June 6 – 8: The Queen B and I spend a lovely weekend at Route 66 Raceway getting a nitro fix.  Oh how I love my nitro.

June 13 – 15th:  Father’s Day Camping Trip.  When we commence on our big adventure this Friday, the plan is to go to Ft. Bliss by way of South Dakota because we’ll have a week before our housing is available and because with three kids and two dogs in the cars, we thought short stretches would be best.  So we took a couple of trips to make sure that everything in the camper works and that the newness of camping had worn off a little bit.  All went well and a good time was had by all.  I should interject at this point that the campers next to us were obnoxious.  From the 10 or 11 year old kid that cried to his mom that my boys were “picking on him and calling him names” that I subsequently heard calling a little girl on the beach a “fat bitch” to his mother who is one of those people that tells you not only her whole life story but those of her children within the first five minutes of meeting her AND THEN proceeds to drink all our beer by the campfire and including the husband who’s only audible presence all weekend was arguing with his wife on Sunday morning.  “Will you just use your fucking head?”  Sounds like an asshole, but the wife didn’t seem real great at thinking for herself so I understand that frustration.  On the bright side, her four year old daughter and our five year old son got along famously all weekend and that’s always fun to watch.  The five of us had a nice time.  The weather was great and no one got hurt.  Perfect.

June 20 -22.  WORST. CAMPING. TRIP. EVER.

This weekend was our first trip with the dogs.  It would have have been fine except for a few little “issues”.  First, like a good proactive dog owner, I treated the dogs with flea and tick repellant the morning of the trip.  Well, Champ proceeded to lick the stuff off Maddie’s neck.  Now I know what nerve gas works like.  He got so sick that he was throwing up in the truck ten minutes after we left the house (after seeming okay when we left).  By the time we got to the campground (about 50 minutes later), he was in a full on “episode” thanks to the nerve agent in the tick medicine.  Including eating leaves and dirt, extreme thirst and a mini-seizure.  I honestly thought my dog was going to die right there.  He recovered quickly after some more water and a little time but in the middle of the night, the nausea returned.  Can I ask you what is a more wonderful sound to hear in the middle of the night while laying semi-awake in a pop-up campier than the sound of a dog  barfing his guts out?

To improve upon that, with gas nearly $4.00 a gallon, I have to drive the dogs home in the morning because they’re not allowed on the hiking trails.  UGH.  To all you useless pet owners who don’t clean up after them and thus ruin it for everyone I say a mighty “Fuck you!  Thanks for ruining everything for the rest of us.”  But I bite the bullet and take the puppies home and return to the park for a day of hiking, fun and sun.  Another day with perfect weather.

One small problem:  The Khan.  See, he’s five, right?  And eating and drinking are not his priority.  Playing and running are.  Well, with temps in the mid 80’s that’s a bad idea.  He proceded to get dehydrated or a bit of heat exhaustion or something.  Saturday night of this big adventure HE was the one throwing up in the camper.  To make it worse, The Khan feels really bad about things like throwing up.  After he was potty trained – the very rare accident would cause a meltdown -”I’m a bad boy!” kind of thing.  So it’s the middle of the night and his majesty is vomiting and crying and apologizing and all I want to do is sleep in my nice comfy bed in my house instead of my camper.  UGH.

June 28 -29th:  Niece’s wedding and Twins – Brewers game.  Very fun.  I have determined that every time I see the Twins play in the dome two great things happen:  The Twins win and the Yankees lose.  Granted this is based on only two observation opportunities, but the potential is there.  If it is true, I wish I had season tickets.  I hate the Yankees so much.  I don’t hate the Brewers but the way they played that day definitely earned them the loss.

July 1:  Queen B goes to Houston.  I miss her so much.

July 3:  Finalization of the Czar’s adoption and cookout in Tunnel City

July 4:  The farewell tour continues at my mother-in-law’s house.

July 5:  Repeat July 4 at my mother’s house

July 6:  Repeat above except as a welcome-home party for a friend’s kid that just got back from Basic and AIT.

And here we are:  Tomorrow the movers show up to pack our stuff.  Thursday the truck is loaded and Friday we start driving to El Paso.  So despite this teaser round of bloggy mediocrity (I know bloggy goodness and this isn’t bloggy goodness), you’ll definitely be blogless until the 21st.

At least the matter of how I’ll amuse myself in El Paso is settled.  I applied for admission to the PhD program in Management at NMSU and have been accepted.  Classes begin August 18.  Get ready for two years of my bitching about that!

Stay safe and come back in two weeks for the latest.  Peace.