Last Thursday, due to the Queen’s trip to Canadia to visit Axe Murderers and shopaholics, I had to take his Excellency the great and powerful Ptichka Khan to work with me. By his Majesty’s account it was “very boring”. Here’s how it unfolded.

First, we dropped the Czar off at school. He is finishing the year at a school near the Uni I work at so it’s not a big deal except for the whole 7:35 start time thing. And his Majesty, in case I haven’t blogged about it before, is NOT a morning person. We managed to get out of the house with relatively little fuss, drop the Czar off and go to my office.

School is done for the year at my uni. I think I should mention that lest you think I am dumb brave enough to take a five year old to one lecture say nothing about two. It was just an office day and my mission was to waste time until the weather got warmer and we could go to the park.

Here’s the thing about his majesty. He loves to be outside. He would be outside ALL THE TIME if he could. Waiting for the park was killing him.

He lasted until 10:30, bless his heart, and then he needed to go! So we went. We drove the short distance to the park only to discover a bus load of kids just dropped off at the playland part of the park. I don’t do busloads of kids so we decided to check out the zoo. The zoo was closed. Meltdown commences.

His majesty, being 5, considers BK the penultimate cuisine. So I attempted a bribe. We’ll go have lunch and then check out the Children’s Museum! Yay! Won’t that be fun? “No, I want to go to the park.” This exchange repeated itself a couple of times with the same result but since I was driving, I win. We went to BK for lunch and his majesty appropriately attired himself with a crown.

Then, again, because I was driving, we went to the Children’s Museum. The first thing he spied was a rock wall. Had the rock wall been open and available for his majesty’s use, that could have been awesome. The children’s museum was lame! The rock wall was not only closed, there was no indication of when it might be open. The displays were mostly uninteresting and it took quite a while for the Khan to get interested in anything. By that time I was bored.

So about an hour and a half in, I convinced his majesty to take a walk. We walked around downtown until we found a candy store where I allowed his majesty to select a lollipop. Of course, there was a selection of multiple sizes and types available to him and he, being five, chose the biggest one as evidenced above. And he walked in his inimitable (adorable) fashion with his crown on and his huge lollipop as we walked the ten blocks (at most) back to my parking spot. People thought it was his birthday.

His thoughts? “Mama, you’re kind of boring.”

See for yourself.