New Challenge!

February 11, 2010 By

One of the fun things about being an Army Family is that you get to move – a LOT! And, in our case, you get to move all over the place. Every house is a new organizational challenge.

This house is no exception. The problem is, as a Lean Six Sigma Black Belt, I really have no excuse other than the children. So I’ll be taking on a new challenge over the next few days (with! pictures!). I’m going to organize my house by applying Lean Six Sigma Methods – 5S, Visual Controls, etc.

My goal is to spend 60-90 minutes in one area every day on a 5S activity and photograph it when I am done as the visual control piece. The visual controls will hopefully serve as checks for the children on whether their chores are done well enough. Wish me Luck!

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First Impressions…

August 28, 2008 By

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-q3TZRZ5Oso&hl=en&fs=1]

You are all dying – all five of you – to know what this PhD program is like.  Based on my first week, this song pretty much sums it up.

There appears to be two sets of people.  The cool kids and the douchebags.  There’s also the haves (funding) and the have nots (me.  Not Funded.  Only me).  And since I’m not funded, the douchebags have decided that I’m somehow inferior.  There’s this tier system too.  It’s like Hogwarts if Hogwarts totally sucked.  There are three of us first-year students.  One’s not a bad guy but he’s really closely aligned with a douchebag (a.k.a. the other first year student – he’s the “you buy the book and I’ll borrow it” type).  They’ve ostracized me because either A:  I’m the only woman or B:  I’m not funded so I don’t spend my days fawning over some PhD and their research.  Whichever reason fits, I think they’re both going to be in for a surprise when the rubber meets the road and the actual performance starts to matter.  When that day comes and I AM funded, I’m going to have a tremendous problem.  It will take all my willpower not to tell the esteemed professor to make his own fucking copies.   “Trust me.  It’s not hard.  You just punch in the number here and push the big green button. “  Or:  “Dude, there’s this thing.  It’s called the internet.  I think it’s going to be big.  You could try just posting the electronic versions and letting the students print them.”

Guess what haters!  I applied only to this program.  I applied WELL after the deadline.  I got in anyway.  The only reason I’m not funded is because I didn’t want to wait for it.  I don’t intend to spend the full four years in the program either.  It’ll be three max.  Take it to the bank.  If I can multi-task well enough to get it done in two, that’s an ideal state.  I’m not in the PhD program for the opportunity to kiss ass or politic.  I am going to fight hard to maintain my no-pretenses demeanor.  No bullshit, no way.  I will build a workable network and move on to a lovely faculty position at a teaching-focused university.  Oh, and I’m not in the wrong field because I strongly prefer teaching to research.  That, good sir, you can go fuck yourself for.  Research makes me a better teacher rather than an obsolete relic of a human being with dated hypotheses and inaccurate knowledge sending unqualified students to the world because you don’t give a shit.  Go write your damn book.  I need the kindling.

Otherwise, school’s great!  How are things with you?

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So Much To Write About…

August 24, 2008 By

So little time.  I’ve honestly resisted the urge to post for the past week or so because it wouldn’t have been pretty.  My frustration with academia on every level knows no bounds.  From the elementary school with the ridiculous supply lists (96 pencils, four boxes of crayons…you get the idea) to Her Majesty’s travails with her University.  Yes, I wrote to the Chancellor.  Yes, I bitched.  No it didn’t do any good.  It didn’t even make me feel better.  But we’re getting a handle on it and that’s something.  Factor in my own impending academic adventures – familiar with “Publish or Perish”? – and I’ve been a real bitch.  No, that’s not new, but thanks for being quiet about it.

So my classes started last week and I couldn’t get registered until the day before because I needed instructor signatures – which is bullshit.  Set up a control in your registration system that says “this student is in this program and can register for this course”.  Make that money you spent on SAP or Oracle or whatever pay off.  Don’t stick to the old ways and make it complicated.  Registering the boys for school was also, pardon my english, a cluster fuck.  Long lines, long waits and ludicrous policies.  “Honey, when I’ve had three MD’s look at that record and say their shots are current, I’m not listening to an RN say they’re not.  Especially when the last MD to review the record did so  two days ago.”  And don’t make me wait an hour for your ass while you enjoy using your positional authority to irritate the hell out of me.  Why can’t you register your kids online?  Develop a portal straight into the computer system.  Wouldn’t it be easier than having me fill out forms and you read my handwriting to hand-key information in the computer system?  You’re welcome.  That will be a $500K consulting fee.  It’s still a bargain.

Bullets:

  • If your computer system can’t keep up with the demand for basic functions like generating schedules, you need to update either the systems or the operators.  Getting schedules done six days later than promised is exceptionally poor service.  You look incompetent and probably are.
  • When I ask for a school psychologist, don’t send me to special education.  I know the difference.  If you don’t, you’re in the wrong profession.
  • If you don’t answer e-mails sent to a general address, get rid of it.  ALL e-mails should be responded to in 24 hours or less regardless of the address they’re sent to.  Many of the Queens and mine have been eaten in cyberspace this week.  This is not acceptable.
  • In a nutshell, PROVIDE THE LEVEL OF CUSTOMER SERVICE YOU EXPECT TO RECEIVE.  And in education, your customers are students, parents, staff and the community.  Yes, you have to make everyone happy.

With school cranking up and the pressure to start research already, I’m going to try to blog three days a week:  Tuesday, Thursday and probably Sunday.  Wish me luck.

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Ten Things…

August 12, 2008 By

Okay, sometimes I get writing ideas from here.  Other times I just don’t blog.  What can I say?  With six readers, most of them lurkers and me being a total comment whore, it’s hard to stay focused.  Today’s prompt is 10 Things I love about my spouse, dog, kids – whatever.  So I am going to modify that and talk about my most favorite thing about this time of year.  Back. To. School.

10 Things I love about Back to School:

1.  The children are out of the house.  All day.

2.  I don’t have to entertain them.  And keeping them off the crack video games is so much easier when they aren’t around them all day.

3.  I have a kindergartener this year!   They get so excited about everything and that is a blast!

4.  All new school supplies.  I even buy each of them a new backpack every year.  It’s like a fresh start!

5.  The excitement the kids have for about the first week.  The subsequent grumbling makes me laugh.

6.  Specifically new crayons.  I love them.  Crayons are a big old box of therapy and buying them for the kids means I get some too!

7.  New books.  I hate paying for them but I love the smell, the feel… and with me going back to school, I will get at least one!

8.  Anticipation.  New semester, new year, new teachers.  I’m mostly an optimist so I always hope for the best.

9.  New sports.  The guys are playing soccer this fall.  It should be fun.  And I will keep telling myself that until it proves otherwise.

10.  Fall is one of my favorite times of year.  I’d say it’s my very favorite but spring flowers and how much I hate winter give spring the edge by just a bit.  But I love fall and the beginning of the school year means fall is coming!  I hope that fall in Tejas and New Mexico doesn’t disappoint.

Now things I HATE about back to school:

1.  Back to School Shopping.  I love new supplies but I hate shopping for them.  What can I say?  The stress of it makes people rude and rude people piss me off.  As my fellow blogger Ian says, “the Universe hates bitches” and so do I.

2.  A feeling of impending doom.   I’m not a snob but after last year I don’t have a good feeling about the teachers.  Last year, the Senator’s teacher didn’t give homework because parents didn’t make sure it got done.  That’s not a reason to not give homework.  That’s a reason to retain kids in the fourth grade.  And, up in the north, we hear lots of bad things about school and standards in the south.   After middle school orientation, I’m feeling optimistic about standards but the Czar’s school is fifty years old and looks it.

3.  The wonder about whether the kids would be better off if I homeschooled them.  If I hate public schools so much, why bother?  Well, I haven’t found a non-religion infused curriculum for one.  For two, I have to work so how does that go with homeschooling?    I always hate myself for not doing anything more to keep them focused in the summer.  Maybe next summer will be the one I homeschool them for summer school to keep their brains free from summer vacation rot.

4.  Standardized tests and the fact that teachers teach to them.  The Middle School principal denies it but we will see.  I know both the Michigan district and the Wisconsin one definitely do.  It’s ridiculous.  Let’s all teach rote memorization rather than critical thinking, shall we?  Then we can wonder where our competitive advantage went.

5.  Parents.  Specifically PTA parents.  They drive me nuts.

6.  Fundraisers.  I’d rather just write a check than sell wrapping paper, people.  Let me do that.

7.  A special nod to helicopter parents.  Particularly those who have children on the same sports team as my son.  I want my kid to play too but you don’t see me being a bitch about it.

8.  Homework.  Specifically my own.  I have a statistics class this semester.  I haven’t had stats since 1999.  I hope they start slow.

9.  Morning battles.  Every year I try to get the kids adjusted to getting up and getting moving in the morning.  Every year I fail.

10.  What?  You really want 10?  Isn’t this nine enough? Okay, I hate that my classes start 8/21 and I haven’t been cleared to register yet.  It’s just paperwork, but I need my stupid student ID number to access the registration system.  AH!  The bureaucrazy of higher ed!

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