The other day Sarge and I got the brilliant notion we’d try one of those Detox diets. These detox diets are very low in protein, no carbs and tons of vegetables. And by tons of vegetables I mean celery for breakfast and salads with no dressing for lunch. Salads with no dressing = gross. What have I done that I can’t even have a little vinaigrette? I am even okay with giving up coffee and my precious diet soda, but what has salad dressing done to hurt anyone?

But on Tuesday we undertook this venture. Breakfast was tahini butter (tastes like hummus) on toast with celery. In retrospect, I think that celery for breakfast should be illegal on all however many planets are in existence unless, of course, it’s stuck in a bloody mary. Lunch: plain salad and a baked sweet potato. And yet, I continued. I stuck with this plan for 2 2/3 days. Finally, I snapped. I called the Sarge.

Honey, I will give you a bottle of wine if we can have a G*d D*mn steak dinner.

God I love my enabler. Happy Love Thursday.

P.S. Because I’d already bought avocado for this detox, I got guacamole too. Just too awesome!