My dear blog readers (all both two of you), I have some things I feel like sharing because it will make me feel better.

1.  I believe that perception is reality with one exception.  That exception would be all those people out there who think I’m a bitch.  No smoke, no joke.  I know they’re out there.  It cuts me very deeply.  I’m not and have never been a true bitch  ( a bitch being defined as a small-minded, petty, self-centered….).  I have an overpowering (at times) sense of right and wrong and try to always stand for what is right and stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.  This is deeply rooted in my history.  I often felt like a total shitbag as a child and I hated it.  I also hated those who made me feel that way.  I still do.  In fact, there are still people who make me feel like I don’t measure up and I also hate myself for that.  I routinely avoid these people but it doesn’t seem to help.

2.  I believe that we owe it to each other as citizens of the universe to care about each other.   We are all capable of doing something to help someone else.  Even a smile can be a life-saver.

3.  I need to talk a minute about cancer.  I feel like there is a misconception out there that I am only militant about Breast Cancer.  Nothing is further from the truth.  I am an equal opportunity cancer hater.  I know, we all hate cancer.    It’s even easier than hating the Yankees.  My issue is that I have had a front row, ringside seat for too many of these fights:  Lymphoma, Leukemia, Breast Cancer, Colon Cancer, Lung Cancer, Brain Cancer, Ovarian….  I am certain I’m incapable of listing them all.  Some fights won, too many fights lost.  I hate standing helplessly by.  I can’t fight for .my friends, my family.  I can only be a shoulder, an ear, an ally, a hand-holder.

But You Raise All That Money for the 3 Day?

Yes.  I do.  I support Susan G. Komen for the Cure very actively.  I always will.  Why?  Because in 2009 I had a chance to volunteer at the 5K in El Paso.  At the finish line.  My job was directing the survivors to the lane where they would get their finisher’s medals and other honorariums.  These women were all ages, shapes and cplors.  They were in all stages of surviving:  fighting, winning, won!  It was humbling.  It was also inspiring to see so many women UNITED for a cause. Too often, it seems to be my experience, large groups of women end up being snarky, control-freak bitches, but the Komen volunteers, staff, walkers, runners…. they’re different.  I was instantly hooked on the 5k.

The 3Day

My first 3 Day was in 2010.  I find myself at a point in my life where I honestly feel I have nothing to show for it.  I’ve never DONE ANYTHING AMAZING.  I crave doing AMAZING things.  I feel alone, weak and small.  I have felt this way most, if not all my life.  I hate it. (Yes, I’ve done therapy, thanks).  I have sisters friends who have done the 3 Day before and it really looks awesome.  I, with a dear, dear friend; sign up.

This is what I learned from my first 3 Day:  

1.  It is truly life-changing.  I felt connected to something so much bigger than I from the instant I arrived at Opening Ceremonies.  Writing names on the big white banner, putting pink notes on the wall about why I walk… all of it.  Inspirational.

2.  Fundraising isn’t as hard as it seems.  Twice now, I’ve raised the minimum needed to walk.  It makes me feel so blessed.  I never think it will be possible but, thanks to a bunch of amazing friends and family, it always works out.

3.  Walking is empowering.  Thankfully, I am not taking a cancer journey of my own, but the physical challenge of the walk makes me feel strong.  Powerful.  Like I matter.  And NO ONE can take that from me.  And I want you to know that it does get hard.  Training is hard.  The event is hard.  But when I am physically struggling, I dig down and find my heroes.  I press forward.  Blisters are nothing.  I imagine names on my arm of the heroic women I walk in honor of.   And in Memory of (I really have to find a way to get a fake tattoo).  I can do this because of what you have been through.  Forever.  Not just breast cancer survivors and heroes who have lost their fight – all cancer fighters.  Not only my Aunt and Step-Sister.  My Mother.  My cousins.  My friends.  My friends’ mothers.

4.  The people you meet through the 3 Day truly do become your family.  Not “Like Family”.  Not “Almost Family”.  My 3 Day peeps are my family.  I love them all.  They’re amazing.  Every. Last. One.