Please Help!

January 19, 2012 By

Dear Blog Readers,

They’re ganging up on me. The children. My nemesis and his adorable little friend (pictured above). Even Mother Nature is giving me the finger. This morning I awakened at 4:00 for a drink of water. I went to the kitchen to discover that either the above dog has gotten incredibly intelligent or one of my children went on a midnight snack run and left the refrigerator door open. In the refrigerator was a pound of beef liver that I had boiled but not yet cut up for training purposes. The key word at this point is was. I found an empty plate (otherwise undisturbed from its resting place – she’s that good) and was met by a very unrepentant dog.

This morning, I discovered half of my favorite pair of shoes destroyed. One hates rugs, the other hates yarn. Maddie cannot stand area rugs to the point that any efforts to stem the flow of snow into my house are met by her bunching up said rug and moving it out of the doorway. Bucky will grab my current knitting project and attempt to carry it away. He doesn’t care about other projects, just the one I am working on now. The vet said he was four or five. I think the vet is full of shit mistaken because of all the “puppy behaviors” he displays – chewing, etc. Shoes, legos and K-nex are not. safe. And he knows nothing. Not sit, not stay, not off. But he has a personality that makes it hard to stay mad at him.

Then we will add the weather. This week I have spent roughly $100 on equipment for wearing these two naughty little hounds out. I bought my first pair of snowboots in a very long time, a split lead so I can take them both on one leash, a backpack for Bucky so we burn more energy on our walks. (I’m reading a dog training book that recommends it for all medium and large sized dogs). Gloves, warm gloves. I am ready for anything! But this shit is ridiculous. So, of course, they’re whining to go outside every ten minutes. This process requires me to put on my full winter battle rattle which takes five minutes and then they only want to be outside two minutes because they’re too cold to do all their business. We come back in, they warm up, I take off my battle rattle and repeat.

It’s going to be a long day.

Send cocoa. With schnapps.

Filed Under: Don't make me break stuff, Love Thursday, Random Stuff Tagged With: , , ,

Enjoy

November 18, 2011 By

Today, take a minute to celebrate the simple beauty around you.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Finally a Wisconsinite!

November 15, 2011 By

I was born and raised in the Dairy State but a true sense of connection has always eluded me.  Mainly because of all the things that “All Wisconsinites” do that I have never done.

Yesterday, I had a chance to knock a big one off my list.  DH called me at about 2:30 yesterday and I thought he was totally screwing with me.  ”I have here in my left hand a ticket to tonight’s Packer game.”

DUDE!

I know, you’re thinking that I got all excited because my husband was going to a football game but that was not the case.  At all.  See, the hubs is a more casual football fan than I.  He was offering ME the ticket.  To MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!  PACKERS VS. VIKINGS!  LAMBEAU FIELD!

Lambeau! (image from TripAdvisor.com)

Lambeau Field is Better than Disneyland.

I can’t even put it into words.  Walking up to the stadium with ticket in hand is a magical feeling.  The savory, smoky smell of tailgate barbeque, the sea of green jerseys and other Pack apparel, outlandish hats, cheeseheads… I have been to professional sporting events before but there is nothing like a Packers home game.  I don’t think I saw a single person there without team gear on.  Even the Vikings fans were all-in.  They took a ribbing for it, certainly, but when it’s football and it’s Green Bay, we go big or we stay home.

There’s food.  Of course there’s food.  Lots and lots of food but most of all fried cheese curds and delicious smelling cheese fries.  And beer. Mmmmm…… beer.  And there are friends.  Mostly friends you haven’t met yet. Even if they root for the wrong team.  The person who had the other of the two free tickets, an acquaintance, walked up wearing a Vikings and Randy Moss jersey.  He was the only Vikings fan for several rows in any direction.  Did he take a lot of crap because his team was being routed?  Yes.  But we also (kind of) felt his pain.  And he took the teasing reasonably well too.  But there was no meanness, no cruelty.  There was football.  Football makes people happy.  Like Disneyland but without the crowds and the long lines (unless you count the beer line and the bathroom line but I think Disney’s probably the same there) so, Advantage: Lambeau!

Here’s the view from my seat:

Not a bad view!

Every true Wisconsinite is a Packer fan.  Every Packer fan dreams of Game Day in Green Bay.  There is nothing in the world like it.    Now, I have seen the Packers play at home.  I am a legitimate Cheesehead.  Feeling fly.

Check out the other pictures from the game here:

Packer Game 11-14-11

The pregame card stunt was particularly awesome. Enjoy.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

How (Not) to be a Good Military Wife

November 13, 2011 By

I begin this post with a standing ovation to my heroes in uniform and the men and women serving beside them but carrying the title of “Military Spouse”.  I know that both jobs, at times, can be equally difficult and equally rewarding.  However, there are certain missteps that no self-respecting military spouse should make.  Here they are:

 

1.  Being a military spouse can be very confusing.  Yes, it is a lifestyle for your family.  But at the end of the day, it is just a job.  Your spouse’s job.  Yes, it requires long periods of separation, deployments, frequent moves etc.  but it is a job. You need to put your grown up undies on and deal with it.  If you don’t, it will make you crazy!

2.  It is no more appropriate for you to contact his boss directly than it is for him to contact yours.  If you are in a social setting or at a social function, it is not okay to talk about your husband’s career with his boss or, for that matter, anyone in his chain of command.  Commiserating between spouses is acceptable.  Sometimes.

3.  Take all that shit off your car.  Ditch the ACU purse and the “Proud Army Wife” t-shirt.  It’s called opsec.  Not advertising.  Besides, I haven’t seen anything of that genre that isn’t tacky as hell.

4.  ”Don’t confuse my rank with your authority” is a myth.  You have no rank, you have no authority.  Period.  Your position as household six does not put you in his official command structure.  NEVER NEVER NEVER call your husband’s boss to bitch about anything.  Trust me when I say your beloved will thank you for it.  All these calls do is cause complications and get your loved ones’ mates thinking he’s whipped and ineffective.  ”Does your wife make all your decisions?”  If you’re calling his chain of command, the answer to that is a hard to disprove “yes”.

5.  Support your local family programs.  There is strength in numbers and the friendships you will make during your spouse’s career are invaluable.  Just like in every situation, these social groups are what you make of it.  If you don’t like it, put yourself out there and change it.  Use your powers for good!

6.  Take time to pursue your own interests and stay your own person.  Work if it suits you, get an education, volunteer.  Keep your marketable skills sharp.  You never know when you might need them.  Do not vest yourself so fully in your spouse’s career, that you neglect your own.

7. Manage your money wisely.  Be a fully informed partner in your financial future.  There are lots of benefits to military life.  Familiarize yourself with them and use them to the max!

8.  The very best advice I can give you is to treat people the way the way you expect to be treated.  Not everyone will be nice to you but you will still like the person looking back at you in the mirror.  Also, if you notice that EVERYONE is being a bitch, it’s not them.  It’s you.

 

 

Filed Under: Army Life, Blogging, Don't make me break stuff Tagged With: ,

Contest!

November 9, 2011 By

I am starting a fitness quest and running a great challenge over at Sharp Solutions today. Stop by for a chance to win!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

20 Before 50

November 8, 2011 By

Flower
I’m too cranky to kick the bucket any time soon but I do have a list of things I’d like to do in the immediate future.  I’ll be 50 in 6.5 years (EEK!) and I proudly present to you my 50 20 before 50:

1.  Be completely debt free.

2.  Go to Italy.

3.  Get a pedicure (I’ve never had one.  I hear they’re lovely)

4.  Get another article published.

5.  See all 5 of the Great Lakes.

6.  Ride an ATV.

7. Drive a Boat.

8. Visit Acadia.

9.  Have a fully-funded emergency fund.

10.  See more of Europe.

11. Take a fantastic vacation all by myself.

12.  Take a fantastic vacation with my hubby.

13.  Ditch the UAV and pay cash for my dream car.

14. Find my purpose.

15. Climb a mountain.

16.  Learn to swim.

17.  Learn to speak Spanish.

18.  Practice in Spain.

19.  Practice in Mexico.

20.  Create an even greater list of things to do before I’m 60!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

You Have GOT to be Kidding!

November 7, 2011 By

In which Wisconsin gets it wrong.  Again.

Lawmakers vote to suspend gun training rule

I have no words to describe what a joke this is.  No training required?  Four hours is too much?  So we’re going to turn every idiot who can pass a background  check and wants to carry can do so.  Fabulous.  I have to re-think my stance on this.  Maybe I should get a permit.

My opinion is that in order to carry a concealed weapon, you should demonstrate an understanding of the rules, some sound judgement and the ability to successfully hit targets with your weapon at 3, 7, 10 and 15 yards.  If you can’t, so sorry.   No permit for you.  If you can, the permit includes the details of the weapon you qualified with.    Competent shooters only need apply.  If you think a class and a trip to the range are too hard, then don’t get the permit and don’t carry.  You’re clearly not smart enough to do so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Lisa, Explained.

October 18, 2011 By

My dear blog readers (all both two of you), I have some things I feel like sharing because it will make me feel better.

 

1.  I believe that perception is reality with one exception.  That exception would be all those people out there who think I’m a bitch.  No smoke, no joke.  I know they’re out there.  It cuts me very deeply.  I’m not and have never been a true bitch  ( a bitch being defined as a small-minded, petty, self-centered….).  I have an overpowering (at times) sense of right and wrong and try to always stand for what is right and stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.  This is deeply rooted in my history.  I often felt like a total shitbag as a child and I hated it.  I also hated those who made me feel that way.  I still do.  In fact, there are still people who make me feel like I don’t measure up and I also hate myself for that.  I routinely avoid these people but it doesn’t seem to help.

2.  I believe that we owe it to each other as citizens of the universe to care about each other.   We are all capable of doing something to help someone else.  Even a smile can be a life-saver.

3.  I need to talk a minute about cancer.  I feel like there is a misconception out there that I am only militant about Breast Cancer.  Nothing is further from the truth.  I am an equal opportunity cancer hater.  I know, we all hate cancer.    It’s even easier than hating the Yankees.  My issue is that I have had a front row, ringside seat for too many of these fights:  Lymphoma, Leukemia, Breast Cancer, Colon Cancer, Lung Cancer, Brain Cancer, Ovarian….  I am certain I’m incapable of listing them all.  Some fights won, too many fights lost.  I hate standing helplessly by.  I can’t fight for .my friends, my family.  I can only be a shoulder, an ear, an ally, a hand-holder.

But You Raise All That Money for the 3 Day?

Yes.  I do.  I support Susan G. Komen for the Cure very actively.  I always will.  Why?  Because in 2009 I had a chance to volunteer at the 5K in El Paso.  At the finish line.  My job was directing the survivors to the lane where they would get their finisher’s medals and other honorariums.  These women were all ages, shapes and cplors.  They were in all stages of surviving:  fighting, winning, won!  It was humbling.  It was also inspiring to see so many women UNITED for a cause. Too often, it seems to be my experience, large groups of women end up being snarky, control-freak bitches, but the Komen volunteers, staff, walkers, runners…. they’re different.  I was instantly hooked on the 5k.

The 3Day

My first 3 Day was in 2010.  I find myself at a point in my life where I honestly feel I have nothing to show for it.  I’ve never DONE ANYTHING AMAZING.  I crave doing AMAZING things.  I feel alone, weak and small.  I have felt this way most, if not all my life.  I hate it. (Yes, I’ve done therapy, thanks).  I have sisters friends who have done the 3 Day before and it really looks awesome.  I, with a dear, dear friend; sign up.

This is what I learned from my first 3 Day:  

1.  It is truly life-changing.  I felt connected to something so much bigger than I from the instant I arrived at Opening Ceremonies.  Writing names on the big white banner, putting pink notes on the wall about why I walk… all of it.  Inspirational.

2.  Fundraising isn’t as hard as it seems.  Twice now, I’ve raised the minimum needed to walk.  It makes me feel so blessed.  I never think it will be possible but, thanks to a bunch of amazing friends and family, it always works out.

3.  Walking is empowering.  Thankfully, I am not taking a cancer journey of my own, but the physical challenge of the walk makes me feel strong.  Powerful.  Like I matter.  And NO ONE can take that from me.  And I want you to know that it does get hard.  Training is hard.  The event is hard.  But when I am physically struggling, I dig down and find my heroes.  I press forward.  Blisters are nothing.  I imagine names on my arm of the heroic women I walk in honor of.   And in Memory of (I really have to find a way to get a fake tattoo).  I can do this because of what you have been through.  Forever.  Not just breast cancer survivors and heroes who have lost their fight – all cancer fighters.  Not only my Aunt and Step-Sister.  My Mother.  My cousins.  My friends.  My friends’ mothers.

4.  The people you meet through the 3 Day truly do become your family.  Not “Like Family”.  Not “Almost Family”.  My 3 Day peeps are my family.  I love them all.  They’re amazing.  Every. Last. One.

Filed Under: Blogging, Indulge Me, Make a Difference

Caption Contest!

October 4, 2011 By

I came across this lovely little gem while exploring the countryside yesterday.    Anyone wish to hazard a guess as to what possesses one to take fandom to this level?  Come up with a clever caption for this photo.  Leave a comment with your best effort by Midnight, Friday October 7.  The winner – selected by random drawing – wins a $10 Amazon.com gift card!  Ready?  GO!

 

 

THIS CONTEST HAS ENDED AND THE RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR PICKED #5, MY ARCHNEMISIS.  YOUR PRIZE IS ON IT’S WAY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Blog I (almost) Forgot!

September 18, 2011 By

I forgot where this blog was headed in light of a crappy winter, spring, summer and looking to be a crappy fall. This is where I can share my unedited opinions, right? What? It’s my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want? AWESOME!

I used to be a really laid back person. Unflappable. Now I spend nearly all my time in a semi-pissed off haze.  I don’t know where so many people got their sense of entitlement and I’ve really lost a lot of faith in humanity.  As just one example, a student failed DH’s class, requested an appeal, requested to be given the reward for completion and was denied so now “an anonymous individual” requested an investigation into DH’s military record claiming he was “fraudulently promoted”.  One thing, he wasn’t promoted.  He was frocked (yay for remembering how the Army spells it, not me) and he has the memo to prove it.  GOF***Y******F!  Your love of drama should be kept to yourself.  You’re making work for someone who will dig through and find nothing but an impeccable career.  Asshat.

I am also very lonely and bored.  Being unemployed stifles my motivation and creativity which really sucks.  However, I am walking and I am raising money for a cure (it will take a minor miracle for me to raise airfare to actually attend the walk but pray.  It still works sometimes, right?) and I will use that motivation to bring back creative in my life.  I need it.  Stay tuned for pictures of my cool stuff!

Also, two blogs I love at the moment:  FireAlexVian.com and Talking During The Movies.  Give them some love if you can.

Filed Under: Uncategorized
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