I have just over two weeks (until March 14) to turn a sow into a silk purse. Yes, the sow is me and I will be escorted by my dashing soldier husband (I’m not even going to lie about how seeing him in his dress uniform makes me twitter – it does to his unit’s annual dining out. For you lucky non-Army people uninitiated, a dining out is a FORMAL event. Formal as in Sarge wears his very sexy blues and I need a formal dress. I need suggestions. Links, pictures, moral support. I am not a teeny tiny girl, I’m me. I haven’t worn a long dress since my first wedding and that fucker didn’t even fit. No idea where to look, what to look for, shoes, hair, makeup, nothing. I am completely clueless. This is the very first time I will accompany my husband of 14 years to a formal event and I guess I would like to make my best effort at looking good. Please, loyal readers, help me!

Edit: I think I have it covered. I went with this:
And this:

Plus a little black clutch purse. Now I just need shoes and jewels.