I’ve had the worst bout of insomnia last night! Woke up at 12:45 a.m. and couldn’t fall back asleep. That has made me too tired to blog today. Fuck NaBloPoMo! Two more days and I’m done!

I’m not sure why, but I have access to an aspiring writer’s forum. I think it goes without saying that unless you want an article about using Linkin Park to teach Supply Chain Management, I’m not ever getting paid to write anything. But I belong to this forum anyway and here was December’s prompt:

Prompt #2: Your family isn’t cooperating with your writing career, so you’ve decided to go on strike. Write a list of demands that must be met in order for you to return to your chores and household responsibilities. (Don’t forget to make a concession or two to speed up the negotiation process.)

My reply:
This is what it will take for me to resume my role as Queen of my House:

1. [Shrek] must renounce the New York Yankees and swear Fealty to the Redskins as well as the Pack.

2. Sinistrum (a Die Hard Conservative) must vote Democrat in the 2008 election (I’ll grant a waiver if that means voting for Hillary).

3. A new Mercedes a day for a year.

4. A good check deposited into my account (that would be certified funds in Euros) for an amount equivalent to the U.S. National Debt.

Take that!

I am conceding, of course, that my son can still be loyal to the Packers.

If you’re curious about how “In the End” becomes a supply chain lesson, drop a comment and I’ll ‘splain everything.

I, for one of thousands, will be very glad when NaBloPoMo is finished. The pressure! The pressure to write something worth your reading every single day has been horrendous.

I mean, do you really care that last night I had the strangest dream of my adult life? I like to call it a “heartburn dream” because I think certain foods make your brain do weird things. This particular dream involved the Sarge and I living in an old farm house. We pulled out the stove to clean and found a whole dead fish behind it. I mean a whole. dead. fish. Head on, scales, everything. Well this fish turned into a real live crocodile and started heading my way. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the dream ends (although I do remember a broom handle) because I woke up. Damn.

Done shopping? Frankly, and don’t take this the wrong way, I think anyone who went shopping today needs a psych evaluation. I tenuously ventured forth to the local outlet of the evil empire for flour, yeast and a handful of other groceries and that was it! Surprisingly, the store was not crowded at all. I asked the cashier if she’d been busy earlier and her reply was sort of surprising. First off because evil empire cashiers can be a bit surly around these parts and second, her reply seemed logical. “People aren’t shopping as much this year. They’re worried about fuel prices.”

Well, that is one thing I am thankful for here. Our utilities are covered by the government so heat is one bill we don’t have to worry about here. Of course, we’re still heating the monkey on our back and who knows how long that will be an issue, but here, we don’t stress about the heat. Nice, because it’s cold today.

Another thing I am thankful for is that my hubby doesn’t read my blog. If he did, he would know that I must admit he’s right once in awhile. In fact, I had to confess that to him this morning. Bummer. I got ready to take the dogs for a walk and he questioned my judgement not wearing a hat (don’t own one) or gloves. I replied that it wasn’t that cold and went off without them. Five minutes later ( five minutes) and my hands were freezing! Next time I’ll know better.

I hope all nine of my loyal readers enjoyed themselves yesterday. We did. Thanks for reading.