I found this as I was cleaning out and organizing my documents today. It struck me as a worthy blog topic as I approach yet another birthday. I’m well past 30 but NOWHERE NEAR 40 so I thought I’d compare myself to this standard and see how I’ve done.

BY 30, YOU SHOULD HAVE:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

Well, I can say that I did go back to an old friend and we’ve been married nearly 13 years. And we all know that I have a source to look back on and say “WTF was I thinking?”

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

I pass this one too. Most of my furniture fits this bill. At 30, I had a few things that I’d bought new. It’s a nice feeling.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

Sadly, No. And I don’t think I ever have!

4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

Again, sadly, no. My purse ATM is one I’ve had for at least five years. It’s okay but rather… matronly? Kind of a backpack thing. And I’ve never had the luxury of anything but super cheap luggage.

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.

Does glad its over count?

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking to forward to retelling it in your old age.

I don’t know that it’s “juicy” but I’ve got some good memories.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.

This is something very unsettling to me at the moment. I have no nest egg – for anything.

8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.

I have all but the bank account. I do see the value of all three, though.

9. A résume that is not even the slightest bit padded.

I’m thinking of dumbing mine down.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

Here’s an area where I’m blessed. I have several that are multipurpose (and no, that doesn’t include Jose!)

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

Again, 2 of 3 isn’t bad, right? Need to work on that black lace thing.

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

Does upgrading my wedding set count? I don’t think it does.

13. The belief that you deserve it.

But I don’t!

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

Uh…I will plead the fifth except to say I’m trying!

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

Uh…I’ve got a pretty great hubby and kids?

BY 30, YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

I agree. I don’t think I’ve done that.

2. How you feel about having kids.

Well, THAT should be obvious.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

Well, no matter how hard I try, I haven’t mastered this one.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

Whoa! I just had a deja vu moment. Freaky. Sometimes I think I try too hard and don’t walk away fast enough. Need to listen more to the “Run like hell!” voices.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

*WINK* This is the best part
of married life, IMO.

6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.

I got this covered! Condoleeza Rice, Bura, Beulah (or Emily?), Jessie and Mae, and my mother

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

Like my kids would let me!

8. How to take control of your own birthday.

Ugh! I should know this. My birthday sucks ass every single year. This year might be better. We’re going to see Kenny Chesney on the 10th! But OTOH, we’re still beyond broke and no one’s interested in our house.

9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.

Ah, but I would if I could! Wouldn’t you?

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

And for that I am truly thankful.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

And let me say, I’d do a lot more for love than money.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

Okay, I think this one is just dumb.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

You know, sometimes this takes me off guard. I still get bitten occasionally.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

Why DO we do that?

15. Why they say life begins at 30.

Well, I know that 30 was better than 20. I must confess, however, that I hope 40 beats the shit out of 30.

Strange little set of theories no? I’m still not sure whether I feel better or worse after this little self-assessment. How do you feel?